


Love Among The Meatbags

by amy1705



Category: Futurama
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 06:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4908586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amy1705/pseuds/amy1705
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uncle Bender tells a story</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Among The Meatbags

Love among the Meatbags

 

"Uncle Bender, how did we become a family?" an adorable tyke in the horde of children asks their baby sitter.  
"Tell us the story again"

"It was a dark and stormy night," Bender begins. "I was making my usual rounds of the best places to steal wallets. The pickings were slim, so I decided to find a hot robo-slut for the evening. So I head over to the saucy robo-puppet show. The Judi 2000 model is really saucy with anybody who has money for oil. The good stuff not the cheap kind from Omicron Persii 9.  
Meanwhile back at Planet Express all the usual suspects were there."

The Professor wanders into the break room.  
"Good new everyone. We have a delivery on Mars. We're going to the Wong estate."

"What are we delivering Professor?" Amy asks.

"You. Your parents want you home for the holiday."

"Spungh, I hate Amy Wong day. All of those little plastic me's are just creepy."

"What about our Captain?" Fry asks. 

"Leela is on vacation visiting her parents. Why didn't you know that? I thought you two were dating."

"Umm, she got mad at me for something and stuff. We don't need her for this one. Bender and I can do it."

"Where is Bender?"

"Right here chump, Judi 2000's husband was out of jail so I said cheese it and headed back here."

"Amy, here are the keys." Hermes says. "Those two idiots probably can't find Mars."

 

Fry, Amy and Bender take the Planet Express ship to Mars.  
They land at the Wong ranch and deliver Amy to her parents.  
Fry insists Mr. Wong sign the delivery receipt.

"Okay Mom and Dad. What is this really about? You don't care about Amy Wong day either."

"You wrong, we want to change holiday to 'Amy Wong is a Mother day'," her dad informs them.

"Spleesh! Not again. You have grandkids. They'll be coming out of the swamp in about 15 years."

"No, No, NO! Listen to your mother!!"

"We tired of waiting for weirdo alien grandkids and want human grand babies now. You get married and have baby in 1 year or you're disinherited."

Shocked looks on the delivery team's faces.

**Back at Planet Express**

"Are you sure this is gonna work?"

"Yeah it should," Amy replies. " Did you get the kit?"

Fry pulls out the Torgos' Test Tube Baby Kit from his bag. "Here's the change."

Amy empties the kit onto the counter. It contains a specimen cup, a turkey baster and a calendar. The calendar says "Don't forget to buy Torgos' pregnancy test" in a high robotic voice.

"You got the one without the sperm! What am I going to do now?"

"Give me the cup." Fry grins and take the cup from her hand. He turns around,fiddles with his pants, and about 30 seconds later her gives her a specimen cup filled with white liquid. 

"Good thing that poster was there. HeHe." Fry points to a Mom's robot oil advertisement on the wall.

**One hour later**

Amy and Fry are waiting in Dr. Zoidberg's office. He holds a test tube in one claw and a piece of paper in the other.

"Well Doc, whats the verdict", Fry asks.

"I have bad news. You don't have crabs and you're pregnant. Wait, not having crabs is a good thing for humans. Hurray!!"

Amy gets on the telesonic with her parents to tell them the good news. 

"Mom and dad I have great news! I'm pregnant."

"About time. We been waiting for hours. Who's the daddy? --and it better be a human not that green swamp guy", her mother grumbles.

"You know my co-worker, Fry.

"The idiot from the 20th century?" Mr. Wong is incredulous.

"This one knock you up?" Her mom looks skeptical.

"Yes mom."

"Then he marry you," her dad declares.

"But I am Kiffie's _smizmar_." Amy protests with tears staining her face.

"You marry him," Mrs. Wong points to Fry. "Weirdo alien ceremony doesn't count." Amy's mother mutters with an air of finality.

**The Next Day**

"Fry what happened while I was gone?" Leela asks her beloved 20th century dude.

"I'm gonna marry Amy and have a baby with her. Other than that, not much," Fry replies.

"What the hell did you say?"

"Leela, you know I love you. Amy's parents were riding hard on her about grandkids and taking all their money away from her. And, well, the baby part was an accident. I bought the wrong kit." He shrugs and looks down at his feet.

"Uh huh keep going." Leela says in a disbelieving tone.

"We will be together always, no matter if I am married to Amy. She doesn't have a problem with you and me dating."

"Can we still go on that romantic cruise we were planning?" Leela asks.

"Sure Amy wants you to be her maid of honor.

 

**Three days later**

Everyone is aboard an exotic space liner. The Wongs are there along with everyone from the office including Scruffy.

Mr. Wong asks, "Who are you?"

"I'm Scruffy, the janitor."

"Why couldn't you get him to knock you up" Mr Wong asks his daughter.

"Kiffie, sweetie, I am so sorry but this won't affect us. I will always be your _smizmar_."

Fry walks over to them and Kif's head suddenly inflates to 8 times normal size. 

"Oh,dear me. I am so sorry. That is my people's instinct when the _smizmar_ bond is threatened."

"Hey no problem. You and Amy can have whatever bond you want," Fry replies.

Amy grabs onto Fry's arm and the three of them talk in low tones.

Leela is walking toward the small group when an oily voice purrs, "There's a very sensual wedding party just ahead." 

"Oh geez!! What are you doing here Zapp?" Leela asks while wearing a pained expression and a ridiculous chartreuse maid of honor dress.

"I am the guest captain on this cruise. Once I heard Kif was coming, I had to join him and see my sexy Leela. Fry over there is getting married so you must be free."

"Nope. Sorry I'm getting married too. It's a double wedding." 

"To who?"  
"To him. Double wedding, so double brides." she grabs Fry's other arm. "We're all very much in love and pregnant. Very pregnant." Leela yells to distract the overly amorous space captain.

"Look!! Boobies!!" 

Leela stuffs a cushion in her dress while Zapp is searching for the cleavage in question.

"See how pregnant we are!!

Amy is wisp thin in her designer wedding gown compared to Leela's cushion amplified waistline.  
The first bride explains, "I didn't want to lose my figure so I got a surrogate."

"Who?" they all chorus. 

At the same moment, Bender walks in and exclaims, "Why do I want pickles and ice cream?" 

Amy hides a box for Torgos' Robo-Surrogate Kit behind her back. 

 

"And back to the important part, Bender!! I had the baby and all of them did their gross biological stuff with each other. And that's how the Wong-Fry-Turanga-Kroker family, you know, the meatbags, became one big humping pile of sweaty flesh and lived happily every after. The end." Bender finishes. 

"Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you one thing."

 

"Bite my shiny metal ass."


End file.
